Tis the Season 

Monday, December 6, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 7:49 AM
Have not been feeling the Christmas season lately...and by lately, I mean it's been more than 3 years since I've been in the happy, cheery, holiday spirit.

For the past 2 years, after my birthday passes in early November, I quietly hide out waiting for December to end and the new year begin. Ironically, I'm not anxious or impatient for it's end.... I rather like to take it all in slowly and submurge myself into this blank state of mind where I can't do anything but reminisce about the times where I remember being happy and use to enjoy it all. It's the only time I set my pride aside and allow myself to go back to a different time in my life and recall fading memories.

And just like that...it takes my Christmas spirit away and any mood for celebrations or festivities. Although, drinking is highly encouraged and Christmas parties do provide a generous supply of much needed alcohol to get me through.

Where my hard, cold lump of coal resides...my heart starts beating again. I get so emotional during the holidays and I detest the very thought of letting myself be consumed by these nonsense feelings. Fucking cheery christmas music that makes me want to get run over by reindeers doesn't help one bit.

But there I am. It's invevitable...like the change of the season. I don't know what triggers it...Or maybe I do and I have yet to admit that part.

The frosty weather. Red holiday Starbucks cups. Downtown lights. Fuzzy socks. Macy's Friends & Family discount. The warmth of my bed's covers and the quietness of the office while everyone is out on vacation. It's all I care for this season.

Just three more months and I will be away from these city lights....I love winter, but I've never wanted the Spring to get here faster....

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I think... 

Tuesday, November 30, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 10:10 AM
That I think too much.

I need to stop over analyzing situations and making things more complicated than they already are.

Everything always seems to work out perfectly on its own.

Whatever is meant to be will happen. <--- SO cliché!!

I need to stop thinking so much and pray a little more. ;)

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23 

Tuesday, November 9, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 10:02 AM
Turned 23 this weekend.

Did my usual and made a big deal by inviting everyone out to a bar to help me celebrate and drink. But for some reason, I wasn't feeling it this year. Mostly cause everyone showed up and they were all over the place that I couldn't keep up with most. I kept leaving everyone and kept worrying about spending time with all my guests that I did not enjoy myself as much as I would have wanted to.

Sure, I woke up with my head inside the toilet puking my brains out. I guess you can say I had fun! LOL But still...there was something missing this year. Not someone. Something. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was the fact that it was my sister's last weekend at home before she moves out. Or maybe it was because I felt like I have outgrown the whole party stage. I think I've partied nonstop since I turned 21. I find myself mostly tired. Dragging...trying to keep myself up and going on this hectic schedule of mine. If I can only make it to the weekend. Then I could rest...but then there I am...trying to catch up on my social life when I'm not buried under work ethics and school papers. I stop and think...what is it all for? What am I trying so hard to accomplish?? What is it that I've been frantically striving for since I was 18, or maybe even at an earlier age.

I've always wanted to be the best person I could be...I'm starting to believe that, that person doesn't exist.

I'm starting to realize...the more candles on my birthday cake...the less I care about myself and more I see that the only thing that matters to me...is family.

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Fall* 

Thursday, October 28, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 8:09 PM
Just a few things I'm in love with at the moment --















Fall....it just may become my new favorite season.

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&& That has made all the difference... 

Thursday, October 7, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 8:34 AM

Why wait until the New Year to start your goals and resolutions?? It is never too late or too early to start working on improving your life or going after what you want. I love setting goals for myself. As you get older, you start losing that sense of amibition and care free spirit you had as a child. Everything starts becoming about your career, your job, your family, how you are going to get through the rest of your life.

I came across a blog I had written 2 years ago around New Years...in it listing all my resolutions for the year and what I had hope to accomplish by the age of 21. It's amazing to see and compare my goals then and now. Of course, much has changed in the course of two years...and it's rather interesting to see the differences and influential factors. But still, I was surprised to see how many of my goals I had accomplished. I am still at an age where I have the advantage of doing many things I want before I settle down. The sense of accomplishment is a high to me. I love it! One day, I hope to look back and see all successes and even failures. Here are a few that I hope to accomplish in the next year or so.

-Try an activity I don't already know how to do. I'm thinking a cooking class or something. I'm not asking to be the next Julia Child or Bobby Flay...but just know enough to survive my "college student on a budget" years.

-Live with a roomate. I never had the college experience of a dorm life...I've lived comfortably in my parents home all my life. It would be nice to actually leave and experience the struggle of living alone without any of my family's help.

-Visit a foreign country. ...that is NOT the mother land!! Seeing new places is always something fascinating to me. I'm not done with the US, but I think it's time for something greater.

- Get in a physical fight. The ones in middle school don't count! I know this is akward, now I'm not gonna actually go out and pick a fight with a random person at a bar or club or even off the street. But just knowing that you can stick up for yourself or someone else, will prove to YOURSELF that you have that confidence and bravery. If I win or lose, in the end...I did it for myself.

-Learn how to play an instrument. I started playing piano two years ago. But due to some circumstances, I didn't have the heart and longing to do it anymore. Learning to master something that is not a gift you were born with, is really very admirable. I think I should pick up where I left off and finish what I had started. ;)


-Write a song. Music is such a big part of my life. It influences and inspires me. Every now and then you hear a song that you really feel connected to. As if the person who wrote it, knows exactly what you are feeling and has the words that say what you personally cannot. It doesn't have to be for anyone. I just want to write what I feel. And sing it. =]

-Go to a concert of someone I've never heard of. Sometimes, this is the best way to hear music and learn something new that you didn't know you liked. I've accomplished this already. But I want to do MORE of it!

-Travel to a different city and state to hear my favorite band, musician, singer, etc. Of course every time your favorite band is performing in town, you're there. But let's be spontaneous. Listening to your favorite musician in another city , from a different stand point and with a different crowd will make you appreciate the music even more.

-Witness something once-in-a-lifetime. It could be the Niagra Falls. There are some things you only get one chance in your life to witness. You want to make sure you take it. Even if it means traveling 200 miles to see the biggest spaghetti meatball.

-Witness someone's own creation of art. What we sometimes think is art, others may have a completely opposite view and different opinion of it. To witness and examine someone creating something that moves them would be really motivating and inspiring to me.

-Go on a date with someone who makes me nervous. You never know. It may turn out to be the person I end up marrying.

-Learn a new language. It's attractive when someone knows how to speak another language other than their native. It looks great on your resume, and you NEVER know when you might have a use for it.

-Make a list of all my faults. And work on them. Yes, I realize we're not all perfect. And of course, we are not always failures. But having a list on what I think my faults are and what others think my faults are can always help me become a better person. There is ALWAYS room for improvement.

-Help find a home for a homeless animal. Even if it's not my own home. I am in love with my pets and my family spoils them rotten. It's sad to know there are many animals out there who don't have a loving home. Or even food and water. =[

-Rent a beach house, or B&B and spend the entire weekend there alone. Sometimes, you need to get away from your own sourroundings to find clarity and a peace of mind. Re-energize and get some REST! Maybe even get inspired while I'm at it. Or meet new people.

-Write a book. Get it published. Yes this is a long term goal. But nothing is impossible. I love writing and it makes me happy. J.K. Rowling wrote her book series on a napkin in a coffee house. Stephenie Meyer started writing based on a dream she had one night. Even if no one EVER buys a copy of my book. Just to see it published, in a book store shelf...would be a great accomplishment.


There are many, many, many other things...but these seem to be a good start. I'm not going to give myself a time limit. The only way to reach your own personal goals, is to enjoy them. Hope to look back again in a couple of years and see how much I've accomplished then.

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Wednesday, October 6, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 7:49 AM
Some women choose to follow men
and some choose to follow their dreams.
If you're wondering which way to go,
remember that your career
will never wake up in the morning
and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.

-Lady Gaga


I am really not her number one fan....but this is exactly me.

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Quotable Quote* 

Wednesday, September 29, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 1:05 PM
"I love writing. I love the swirl & swing of words as they tangle with human emotion."
-- James A. Michener

Found this today and I knew exactly how he felt. =]

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Crystal Castles 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 7:21 AM
So you know when you were in high school you always tended to avoid those "freaks" who dressed all in black, had piercings, colored hair, smelled like cigarettes, and listened to who knows what kind of music?? You know the outcast and reject crowd who either had their own personal group of mutual weird friends or that complete loner who walked the halls looking at his feet and sat all by himself while secretly having thoughts on how to blow up the school.

Well, that was me. Part of that outcast crowd. Last Night. I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into when I decided to purchase my ticket for Crystal Castles. I mean, when I first heard them I was very hesitant. I remember saying, "What the fuck is this Atari shit?? Why do people listen to this. This is weird." And I completely pictured myself as one of the class of 2006 rejects. But unlike many others, I decided to give it a try. Few days later, i couldn't stop listening to their album. I was like, "Why is this sooo good???" It was BEYOND my personal taste in music, but then again...what IS my favorite music?? I wouldn't be able to give you one specific genre as I tend to gravitate to different themes according to my life and emotions at the moment. Well little did I know...this was the time of my life for Alice Glass.

So, I decided to purchase my ticket for the Cyrstal Castles @ House of Blues. Mind you, I hate that place. It's like the Hard Rock Cafe of concert houses. Seriously...you either stand way in the back and avoid the pushing, arm to arm, sweatfest of a crowd, or you dive right into the moshpits of hard core maniac fans who will stand for hours just to get a good glimpse of a 45 minute show. And will enjoy every second of it to the max.

Of course, I wasn't going to be stading in the back...I dove right in. And let me tell you. As soon as the lights went out, the hype of the crowd was insane. Alice Glass is not your Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani, or Lady Gaga kind of girl. No, she's more of the weird girl you sat next to in Biology class thinking, "Poor girl. I bet she would look really pretty if she just only dressed well and didn't hide behind her hair and awful makeup." Or in Ryan's words, "She's the kind of girl who burns ants and puts glue on her face." The kind of girl who doesn't sing. She screams. Literally. Her music is screaming. At you. The entire show.

So here I am, in the middle of a moshpit, between a 6 foot tranny and a pink platform wearing diva, in the middle of drunk messes who will push themselves or in Ryan's case...CANNONBALL themselves up to the front of the stage. I looked around the crowd and I see a few people I recognize from high schools. Definitely not someone I associated myself with back then. Those class "weirdos" who really aren't weird...they are normal people who just have a different passion of life other than trying to be popular and cool. They didn't care if they had friends or not, they cared about music. And here I was...screaming and yelling and dancing with them. As I learn how to appreciate this kind of music more...I learned how to appreciate the crowd as well. I couldn't help but think how different my life would have been if I had just hung out with a different crowd in high school. The peer pressure of trying to fit in just didn't seem worth it anymore. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't regret anything I did...but I just wished I could have learned to appreciate differences more at an early age than now.

Every so often you experience something that changes your life. Something that moves you. That you feel connected to and sparks an epiphany. That changes your way of thinking. The show was amazing. =]

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Stilettos && Broken Bottles* 

Sunday, September 12, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 9:46 PM
So each year at the end of the year, I choose my favorite song that has absolutely blown me away and more than likely has the highest number of times played on my iPod. So this year, I decided not to wait until December, because I already know what song I am going to choose. I always choose something that I felt connected in a way and kind of meant something to me at the moment.

My family and friends know that I am literally OBSESSED with this song and have had it on repeat all summer long. I first heard it in Ryan's car on my way home and I was like, "Who is this?!" Ryan says, "Umm...I kinda heart this song...you should see the video." So, I go home and sure enough...I was hooked. The video is just as amazing as the song. Best lyrics, best video, best DANCE MOVES! Mind you I haven't heard from Robyn since Show Me Love when I was like 12 and that was really one of my favorite songs. Love her new album and I've been playing it non-stop. I'm glad she performed at the VMA's....she wins Song of the Year && Video of the Year && Album of the Year in MY book! All her lyrics literally describe my life at the moment.

ENJOY! =]






Vky's 2009 Song of the Year:

Amanda Blank - Leaving You Behind

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BEST WEEK EVER 

Monday, July 26, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 1:09 PM
So I managed to survive yet ANOTHER week....one down; thousands left to go.
Retirement doesn't kick in for another 40 years or so...by then, I wouldn't even know what to do with myself...Botox parties galore...but that's another story.
Let's take a look at this weeks highlights:


Most productive day of the week?
Last Sunday - I came in to work for a couple of hours while noone was in. Perfectly quiet just me and myself with noone to bother, ask for my help or stop to ask a stream of questions (which I had no clue as to what the answers were). I wasn't drowning in thousands of emails cause well...everyone who is NORMAL doesn't work on a Sunday....

Best "FML" moment?
I mixed up my Wednesday and Thursday schedules. I showed up to work at 5:30 AM on Thursday morning. Only to find out that I wasn't supposed to be there until 7AM.
Sure, I could have gone to hunt down a Starbucks or McDonald's ...but I forgot my wallet while rushing out the door.

Best line I heard all week?
It's a a tie between the following:
"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, 'These idiots get paid a lot more than I do and they don't know shit.' "
AND
"You're not gonna get paid for those hours of overtime you put in on Sunday."

Yes...they were really said....

Most intriguing txt conversation:
Tita: Vicky!? Hello!? Where are you!?!
(30 mins later)
Vky: Oh, hey! Sorry, I was in chest high water planting trees in the Gulf of Mexico...I'm all wet from head to toe and I didn't even bring extra clothes! What's up??
Tita: Oh, umm...okay...


Best moment of the week (Choose from the following):
A. When my boss sits next to me on the bus to Galveston and decides to do our weekly review.
B. When I don't know how to swim, but I find myself chest high in water with jelly fish swimming around me.
C. When I realize I don't have any extra clothes for the long ride back home.
D. When I retreat to my trustee iPod to finally relax for the long drive home...only long enough for it to say, "LOW BATTERY" and then it shuts down.

Correct answer: E. All of the Above

Best drink of the week:
At the Astros game. In the company suite. All the free food and booze you want....only technically, it wasn't free. Since I didn't get paid for all those nights I slept in the office...

Best sleep I got all week:
That nap I took during my lunch hour.

Person I wanted to shoot this week:
The lady who sits in the cubicle behind me. For wearing her MULTIPLE bangle bracelets and for wearing her flip flops to work. How much noise can you make sitting down?? Seriously....

Favorite part of the weekend:
When I finally get my car back only to find it flooded inside.


Cheers! To another Monday.....

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Encounters of the Weird Kind 

Thursday, March 25, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 9:16 PM
I have no idea why I attract the weirdest people. And when I say weird....I don't mean the kind that talk to themselves and like to eat grapes off wallpaper...no, that's more like insane people.
But seriously...these past few days, I have found my surroundings to include the company of weirdos. Out of the blue, randomly...and most of all...freakishly!!

I mean, I meet weird people all the time...don't get me wrong. But I prefer to think of them as idiots, morons, and assholes who are just born to piss people off such as myself. (Refer to previous blog)

But no. Not those kind of people. That I can handle. I am talking Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy weird. I even came home one evening and totally locked my gate (which I never bother to do....), look cautiously around while changing, and was almost tempted to sleep with one eye open. (This is quite difficult to do btw, I should put this on my TO DO list.)

Could it be....that I may be weird myself??? And people are trying to give me and early warning by gracing themselves with my company. I mean obviously they seem to find something in common with me...

Nahhh...can't be. I consider myself to be a fairly normal person. Never had suicidal thoughts. Love animals unconditionally. And have plenty of friends. But recent events have seriously left me dumbfounded....and above all...have creeped me the fuck out.

I seriously need to stop trusting others so easily and go back to what kindergarten teachers shoved down our throats. Stop, drop, and roll....Never take candy from a stranger....and never get into a car with a person you don't know. Although...I am definitely applying this rule to people YOU DO KNOW as well. You just never know what may happen.....

I think I may have to change my phone number....and my address. =/

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Annoyed* 

Monday, February 8, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 12:47 PM
I honestly and truly, without a doubt, from the bottom of my aggravated self....from the bottom of the empty ibuprofen bottle on my desk, from the bottom of the Venti coffee cup in my trash bin, from the soon to be empty bottle of wine this evening......

...........really think, that some people aspire to be Idiots!

I have had one too many idiot encounters over the past few days. I have come to the conclusion that their sole purpose on this earth is to annoy, aggravate, piss off others and make you want to scream. For I am screaming....as I'm typing this....screaming....silently...in my head.

I refuse to leave on my vacation with a sore throat.

Tis all.

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