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Tuesday, November 9, 2010 - Posted by -Vky* at 10:02 AM
Did my usual and made a big deal by inviting everyone out to a bar to help me celebrate and drink. But for some reason, I wasn't feeling it this year. Mostly cause everyone showed up and they were all over the place that I couldn't keep up with most. I kept leaving everyone and kept worrying about spending time with all my guests that I did not enjoy myself as much as I would have wanted to.
Sure, I woke up with my head inside the toilet puking my brains out. I guess you can say I had fun! LOL But still...there was something missing this year. Not someone. Something. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was the fact that it was my sister's last weekend at home before she moves out. Or maybe it was because I felt like I have outgrown the whole party stage. I think I've partied nonstop since I turned 21. I find myself mostly tired. Dragging...trying to keep myself up and going on this hectic schedule of mine. If I can only make it to the weekend. Then I could rest...but then there I am...trying to catch up on my social life when I'm not buried under work ethics and school papers. I stop and think...what is it all for? What am I trying so hard to accomplish?? What is it that I've been frantically striving for since I was 18, or maybe even at an earlier age.
I've always wanted to be the best person I could be...I'm starting to believe that, that person doesn't exist.
I'm starting to realize...the more candles on my birthday cake...the less I care about myself and more I see that the only thing that matters to me...is family.
